Posts in ESSAYS
Relativity, and My Twin Companions: Death & Abandonment

The intangible has, I discovered — as have many before me — a way of distilling how the mind thinks. It forces us to consider that things which seem absolute and certain are often relative and varied. If forces us to confront uncertainty, and to try to find stability in an utterly relativistic universe. Where anything can shape-shift, at any time.

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Attraction and Sexual Desire

Sexual desire includes craving, cravings which can become so strong as to become overpowering to the point of creating a so-called total body experience. We get swept away.

Such an immersive experience can quickly include multiple dimensions of being — physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. In this sense, the craving envelops us in every way. And we experience a form of oneness.

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The Relativity of Desire

The implication of removing ourselves from desire, to become some kind of unattached, cold stone, implies that desire should not be allowed to exist. This is an immature, undeveloped perspective.

Desire exists as a force of nature, as a natural emotion, and also as a natural need. We desire food, sleep, survival, and much more. Desire is neither bad nor good. It is simply natural.

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Can Suffering Not Exist?

In my experience, suffering, in the sense that we experience it in the here and now, is left behind in the so-called deeper realm or experience. It just doesn’t matter there. At all. It has no place.

Yet, having experienced that place, I still suffer. Is that because I didn’t really have deeper experiences, that I’m just fooling myself?

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Reconsidering Don Carlos, by James Souttar

The way Castaneda wrote was immediate and compelling, beautifully crisp and concise, yet sometimes also astonishingly poetic and resonant (we owe to him exquisite phrases like ‘unbending intent’, ‘controlled folly’, ‘dark sea of awareness’ and ‘active side of infinity’). And his mysticism was actual, not theoretical. It involved realising unimaginable possibilities, marshalling extraordinary discipline and finding considerable courage. Above all, it communicated a sense of adventure.

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The Three Ultimates

It lies beyond a veil, but the veil can be penetrated. The veil does not require perfection to pass. At least, not in the way we typically define perfection.

It requires an open mind and an open heart, a tender heart, the place within our heart that still knows and believes in and acknowledges our own innocence.

It is a perfection that puts a greater value on our beauty and our innocence than on our mistakes and sins. It is a perfection that puts a greater value on the wonder, and the increasing wonder, of the journey — versus stopping along the way and putting value on the drama.

Because anytime that we stop and look, or stop and soak, or reflect and ooze within the experience, our journey stops. At that spot. Or immediately goes back through the veil.

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The Continuum of Improvement

At first glance, improvement seems simple. It’s about making something better. And viewed from that single perspective, it is simple.

It seems simple because we are restraining our focus point, limiting our perspective so that a particular level of complexity appears relatively simple unto itself. Yet, as we look at the variables listed below, the dimensionality of something as seemingly simple as improvement quickly expands.

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The Futility of Certainty

Is it really all that disturbing to be uncertain? To live adrift in the tireless flux of the unknown? To no more understand the depths of our own self than the expansiveness of the universe? I think we underestimate our desire for the unknown — for the mind-expanding sense of a universe and a self without end. For the sublime rewards of a world of no clear and definitive answers.

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The Suspension of Belief

There is the saying, “What goes up, must come down.” This saying is pre-disposed to gravity. Interestingly, we rarely hear, “What comes down, must go up.”

If we consider both of these sayings equally, however, we can find ourselves suspended between them. But since we do not consider both concepts equally, we find ourselves predisposed toward one of them, toward gravity, toward the direction of ‘down’.

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