Three Martial Arts Rules for How to Speak your Mind

THREE MARTIAL ARTS RULES FOR HOW TO SPEAK YOUR MIND

or, how skinniness and being without clothes is no longer an excuse

The martial arts has a long history, traceable to the second millennium BC. This means something: that 4000 or so years ago, we figured out there might be a better way to fight than using clubs.

Dude-Li, for example, was skinny and quite naked. He needed some kind of equalizer.

It took a while to figure things out. There is an old martial arts saying, “View the body as a unit, not as isolated parts.”

Dude-Li (rumored to be the first known ancestor of The Dude himself) only partly understood this concept. He was the sum of his parts, as you can see, but only on days his parts were agreeable. Generally speaking, he found all this difficult to manage, especially being so skinny and naked.

So, anyway, people like Dude-Li began to study. Because out under the stars they would worry about what the next day might bring. In their travels along The Way of Worry, they began to understand that it was better to find ways to relax than to be all uptight. Perhaps this is how meditation was first discovered.

When Dude-Li was in the empty space of deeper meditation, he discovered there was little to distract his mind, no sense at all of missing parts. While at first this was all quite confusing, eventually some rules of navigating The Naked, Skinny Way of Existing began to emerge. It took quite a while, and a lot of refinement.

Along the way, the big shots and know-it-alls began to emerge — as they always do. They promoted wearing clothing, leather, armor and putting on weight. You know the type — the bullies, I mean the leaders.

But it was the skinny, naked guys that kept pushing the envelope. You probably also know this type — the ones who are always making people uncomfortable with their visions and ravings. Today, we call some of these guys ‘homeless’ or ‘worthless’. Or occasionally ‘visionaries’.

But here’s the thing, those are the guys that figured it out. They’re the ones who invented the martial arts — guys like Dude-Li. But it took a long, long time, and a lot of observation and practice.

Three Martial Arts Rules for How to Speak your Mind

So, let’s fast forward and talk about some things they came up with.

To start with, they began to see patterns, and they began to develop techniques and rules of self-defense. At first these rules only applied to fighting. But over time, they realized fighting rules could be applied to any situation. They eventually became rules-of-engagement for everyday life. Or what eventually became known as “Dude Jitsu for Everyday Life and Leisure.” Here are three of the rules:

1. Yield or Strike with Consideration

2. Move Without Hesitation

3. Use the Sword Sparingly — But When Necessary, Cut

So look — when you are skinny and naked, you can’t approach things the same way as a big, clothed, armored fat guy. You can’t tease and bully. You can’t draw things out; the bully always has his gang with him. And at least a six-pack or two, to help amp up the confidence.

In contrast, all you have is your skinny little bag of wishbones, and the humiliation of being so poor and being such a failure that you are naked. You really need something you can count on.

Yield or Strike with Consideration

The one thing you don’t want to do is taunt the bully. Because once it starts to ramp up, well, either get the heck out of there, or divert/engage. Those are your two choices. If you choose to engage (saying something back, striking), don’t mumble — speak up with due force. Equal force.

Yield — Someone says something aggressive. To yield could be simply replying back, “Yeah, I hear you.” Or, “Well, that’s like your opinion, man.” You haven’t agreed or disagreed. You've diffused. Say it with a little smile or chuckle, and it’s all the better.

Run — “Listen, I don’t mean to be rude but I’ve got to cut this short. I’ve got to get moving. I’m on a deadline today. I’ve got some bowling to get in.”

Strike — You’re in a meeting. Somebody is dominating, for whatever reason. Do like interviewers do: start gently breaking in. Then, without being rude, at the right moment… strike. “Ok, so we have to keep our meeting on schedule, so let’s move back to…”

Move without Hesitation

Once you decide to strike or run — do it. If running, commit to it: there’s no embarrassment if that’s what’s called for. If striking, strike. Use the element of surprise and conviction. Commit.

Commit — Same scenario, a meeting. “Okay, we’ve got to wind this down. We can pick up again on Monday.”

Commit — Same scenario. “Well, I hear you loud and clear, but the customer is explicit, and this is what she expects.” End of discussion. You have a higher authority that backs you.

Use the Sword Sparingly — But When Necessary, Cut

When you strike or refute the bully’s humiliation, only use the force that’s needed. No more, no less. That’s Dude Jitsu. It’s like making a salad, isn't it? Because if you need to slice and dice to make a salad, you do it. No more, no less. Or if you need to publicly humiliate, you do it. Put the bully in their place. Not because you enjoy humiliating people, but because the bully has asked for it. Mirror your attacker. Give them back what they dish out. But always use respect. Avoid humiliation if you can. No more, no less.

Cut Sparingly — Again, you're in a meeting. Things start to get heated. Diffuse it with an artfully placed cut. “Ok, I hear you. But, I disagree. Why don't we sidebar this and set up a time to work through it. Do you have any time first thing in the morning?” You've shown disagreement (the cut), but you are also showing a willingness to find a way to work things out.

The attacker has three advantages: they know when, where and how they will attack.

Dude Jitsu for Everyday Life and Leisure teaches us how to overcome those advantages.